January 29, 2010

The last 3 months...

I haven't had much motivaton to blog over the last few months because most of my down time has been spent helping my mom take care of my grandfather. I never thought that I'd see my grandfather so sick, but that day has come. He was initially diagnosed with aortic stensis (bad heart valve) in June 2009 and his symptoms have gotten progressively worse - shortness of breath, fatigue, dizziness, etc. My concern for him and his ability to be at home by himself (while I was at work) had grown so I talked to my mom and she ended up moving down here (from Oregon) in early October to take care of him. In early December he sufferred a mild heart attack and was hospitalized for a four days. His left lung had filled with fluid and he could hardly breathe. They were able to drain the fluid and ended up releasing him that same day - he was pretty anxious to get out of there that he pulled out his own IV!

Looking back, I wasn't sure that he would make it out of the hospital. He was weaker than I had ever seen him, couldn't walk, was disoriented and sleeping constantly. I didn't think he could get worse, but unfortunately he has.

Shortly before Christmas, we began talking about the option of hospice. His doctor had mentioned that it might be time for that and on January 7th, we enrolled him with a hospice provider. It's been a difficult couple of weeks. Especially for my mom. A day without tears is pretty rare around here.

But for now, I am counting my blessings. I have been blessed with a grandfather who has shown me unconditional love and provided for me in ways that my father should have but never did. The Lord knew exactly what I would need and he provided everything and more in my grandfather.


  1. Rachel, your grandfather sounds like a wonderful man and each time you write about him it makes me wish I knew him more.

    His effect on your life is obvious and I completely sympathize with what you're feeling. Today is the anniversary of my grandfather's passing and he's been in my thoughts all day today.

    The good thing is you have many wonderful memories and you'll never lose those and can always go back to them.

    We will pray for comfort and healing for your family and for him.

  2. Thanks Angelo. I didn't realize today was the anniversary of his passing...it's hard to believe it's been that long. Thanks for your prayers....I'll do the same for you!

  3. Oh Rachel, I'm so sorry to hear about all of this!

    I admire your strength and your beauty. If you ever need to chat, I'm here for you!

  4. Hey my best mija in the world...your grandpapa (a name I've baptized him with) is one amazing man and I'm thrilled to know him through you.
    He's blessed to have such an amazing granddaughter and I know he's very proud of you. It's also very evident how much you love him and I know he knows that, too!

    As for him being the only father figure you've ever known...I can't imagine a better father for you! TRULY! God has blessed you with your very own "Papa John". :)---Of course I have to make a reference to food. MY GAAAAAAAA!

    You know I'm here! I love you!

  5. We should all be as blessed to have loving, and caring family around us when our time comes as your grandfather is. Hang in there. I know it is a very, very hard thing to watch, but you and your mom are doing your best and also what is right by him, and that is what is important.